


Secrets and Lies! Secrets and Lies!

by kamja



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 05:03:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kamja/pseuds/kamja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hikaru gets his wisdom teeth pulled out. The pain meds affect his texting ability and cause strange little secrets to come out of the woodwork among the others. Everything is implied. Make of it what you will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets and Lies! Secrets and Lies!

The anesthesia had barely kicked in before the dentist started. Hikaru hoped he wouldn’t feel that initial cut, but he felt it all right. It was disgusting.

But it didn’t hurt at all.

He closed his eyes and played a song in his head to block out the sounds of the dentist talking to her assistant. No, he really didn’t wanna know if bigger pliers were needed. Hikaru signaled for another shot of anesthesia halfway through, when the dental assistant was adjusting the suction tube on one side of his mouth. He looked around the room, blinking in the light for having closed his eyes for so long, noting the patterns on the ceiling tiles. The assistant’s gloves came up bloody out of the corner of his eye, and he quickly shut them again. Then a tiny pinprick of the needle drove a dull pain into his jawbone, and everything went numb again.

Thirty minutes later, he couldn’t stop drooling.

His lips and cheeks were puffy and swollen, and he couldn’t close his mouth properly because of the cotton gauze wedged on top of the incisions. He sat silently in the car with his eyes slightly unfocused. His mother turned to look at him when they stopped a red light.

“We’ll make a quick stop at the pharmacy to fill your prescription, okay?” She reached over and wiped at the drip of drool that had landed on his collar. It was gross, yeah, but moms faced gross things from their kids every day. Talk about a dirty job.

Hikaru was in too much of a daze to respond. Anesthesia felt kind of good.

*

_Well, at least you didn’t need laughing gas,_ Keito texted him the next day.

Hikaru’s head was swirling in a fog of painkillers, and he blinked several times at his phone screen.

_Ya, don’t need help farting,_ he finally replied.

_Lol, no, remember when Daiki got that done and freaked out in the chair, so they put him out?_

_I heard you got freaky in a chair,_ Hikaru texted Daiki ten minutes later to tease him. He felt a sneeze coming on, which was bad news in his present condition. The new blood clots in his sockets might come loose.

“Mrgh!” He managed to keep it down, but didn’t realize that his finger slipped. His text got cc’d to two other people.

_WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT?????_ came Chinen’s panicked response mere moments later.

_It was scary, he was coming at me with a scalpel,_ Daiki gave a long-suffering sigh at the other end. Keito will never let him live it down. So what, if Keito got _his_ wisdom teeth removed without a mental breakdown.

_Dude, that was all Chinen,_ this one was from Yamada.

_It’s because Keito didn’t have to do it,_ Daiki followed up a few minutes later. Hikaru added two and two and got five. Or maybe fifty-five, he wasn’t quite sure.

_He didn’t have to do it, Kei--_ Hikaru started a text to Chinen, but got interrupted.

“Why don’t you stop texting and take a rest?” His mother came in with some miso soup and his next dose of painkillers and antibiotics. His batteries were almost out anyway, so he gave her the phone for a recharge. She looked down at the screen. “Are you done with this one? I’ll send it for you, ok?”

Hikaru nodded, though to be honest, he had already forgotten what he’d texted. He slurped his warm soup, took his pills and fell asleep with an episode of Nintama going on the TV. He really liked the Ya-Ya-Yah version of that theme, to be perfectly honest.

Actually, he wasn’t feeling too bad right now, considering that his face had swollen to twice its normal size.

*

“Inoo? How’d he even know?” Chinen stared at his phone screen. There was only one way.

_Did you tell Inoo about the chair?_ he texted Yabu.

_Why the heck would I talk to anyone about that?_ came the response.

_Hikaru knows,_ came Yamada’s text, before Chinen could reply to Yabu.

_I know,_ Yamada could practically hear Chinen whining on the other end.

Then Chinen stopped, and thought about Hikaru’s last message.

_He didn’t have to do it, Kei_

Do what?

He scratched his head. What didn’t Kei have to do? But before he could think more about it, lunch break was over and he had to head to class. The hallways were a knot of students as they drifted back. Up ahead, Chinen could see Yamada ducking into their classroom, tugging his tie into place. He must’ve just come in, after missing the morning. As everyone shuffled around, the two of them caught each others’ eye and exchanged a dark look from across the classroom.

Ryosuke pointed at Yuto’s empty desk with some reluctance, and sure enough, Chinen’s eyebrows disappeared straight into his hair. There was no time for anything else however, as the teacher called the class to attention.

*

Meanwhile, Hikaru had a nice nap and woke up to a nice string of text messages. There was Takaki recommending music to pass the time, Ryutaro with funny Nico videos and Inoo mentioning a pudding sale. He forwarded the videos to everyone, one of which involved a spider monkey playing the piano.

Some time and another dose of painkillers later, Yuto texted him.

_Something strange is going on,_ Hikaru supposed Yuto had just met up with some of the others for dance practice. He peeled the lid off the pudding cup. His mom had just come back to the store and he told her about the sale.

One of their ads flashed on TV. Yamada grinned at the camera. Hikaru decided to take a wild guess. _Must’ve been Yamada._

_Yeah, him especially. How did you know?_ Yuto responded. He looked over his shoulder. They were ignoring him.

_Inoo told me about the pudding._ Why else would they act strange? It was _obvious_ everyone wanted to buy the pudding for themselves. He was so glad Inoo gave him the tip.

“What?” Yuto said this part out loud. He was sure _that_ incident was going to the grave. Apparently, the bed still smelled like vanilla. No one was even sure where all that alcohol came from in the first place. He sat back and thought about it. After class, Chinen had asked if he’d said anything to Hikaru recently. Yuto had no idea what was going on, so he denied it. However, both Yamada and Chinen seemed tense on the way to the practice building. Yamada didn't look at Yuto the entire time. 

If Inoo said something Hikaru, then maybe that was the cause? But...Chinen didn’t know about the Pudding Incident, unless he somehow found out too. If that was the case, then Chinen would be mad at Yamada, which would make Yamada mad at the person who told...

Yuto wrinkled his nose. He started texting Inoo, who hadn’t arrived yet.

_You should straighten out what you said. Yamada looks a little mad._

He wanted _no part_ in whatever was going on. No way.

Inoo was riding the elevator up when he got Yuto’s text. He sighed. It was only supposed to be a joke, what he said during dinner in front of some juniors last week. He didn’t think it would turn into such a big deal. He entered the practice room and put down his stuff. Yamada and Chinen were standing off to the side, in deep discussion.

“Hey, Yamada,” Inoo said as he approached them. “Yuto told me you got mad for what I said, so I’m here to apologize.”

“What? Why should I be mad at you?”

“That’s what I thought, for such a little thing...”

Just then, Yuto came back from the restroom. They called him over.

“Yuto, what was that text all about anyway?” Inoo asked.

Yuto eyed Chinen uneasily. “Well...that is...”

Meanwhile, Chinen was thinking hard about Hikaru’s last text to him. He suddenly spoke. “Inoo, there was something you didn’t have to tell Hikaru.”

“The pudding?” Inoo replied without thinking. It was just a sale.

Yuto waved his arms in the air. “Exactly!”

“What? Why?!” Yamada thought they had sworn that part to secrecy.

Chinen looked at them curiously. “What’s going on?”

“No, nothing happened!” Yamada said in a panic.

Yuto slapped one hand over his eyes. No, that wasn’t suspicious _at all_. Inoo finally caught where this was going.

“Now wait a minute, I wouldn’t tell Hikaru something like _that_.” Yamada waved at Inoo to stop, but the damage was done. Well, more than done.

Chinen frowned. “What did you do?”

Yamada chose to not answer that question and instead refocused his energy on Yuto. “You started all of this anyway, by blabbing about the chair thing!”

“Me?”

“What’s this chair thing?” Inoo asked, distracted.

Chinen pushed Yamada’s shoulder. “Yabu didn’t tell him!”

“He didn’t?” Yamada replied with the an expression that clearly said he was operating under the assumption that all persons present knew about the Chair Incident.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” It was Yabu, followed by the rest of the group. Yuto winced.

“Are you keeping secrets from me?” Inoo turned to Yabu immediately.

“It doesn’t even have anything to do with you!” Chinen cut in.

“The chair thing,” Inoo pressed, ignoring Chinen. He didn't have any idea about what it was, but it sounded suspicious. 

Yabu put his hands up. “Look, just because I walked in on those two...”

“What _I_ wanna know,” Chinen said loudly to cover up what Yabu was saying. He pointed to Inoo and Yamada. “Is what _you_ two were doing.”

Without thinking, they replied in unison. “Daiki.”

Daiki, who was previously watching the proceedings with some amusement, suddenly found himself in the center of attention. “Huh?”

Chinen narrowed his eyes. “The pudding.”

Daiki blanched. Suddenly, Takaki started laughing.

“ _You_ knew about it too?”

Ryutaro and Keito looked at all of them before shrugging and walking off. They had no idea what was going on, and for once, they were glad. 

*

They were still at it when Hikaru returned to work after the weekend.

“Well, here’s a pudding cup,” Keito sighed as he skirted past the knot of his bandmates battling it out in the middle of the room. He opened one for himself and sat there, watching the spectacle.

Hikaru nodded a thanks and dug his spoon into the pudding. Yup, he didn’t hurt at all. Modern medicine felt _awesome_.


End file.
